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 Post subject: Random Thoughts of People Our Age
PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:46 pm 
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http://www.bangitout.com/articles/viewa ... php?a=2874

Actually very funny!

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1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fck was going on when I first saw it.
11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
17. Was learning cursive really necessary?
18. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
21. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"
24. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
30. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
31. Bad decisions make good stories
32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
33. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
34. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
36. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
37. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
38. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? dagnabbit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
42. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
43. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
45. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
47. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
48. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
49. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
50. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
52. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
53. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
54. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than with Kay.
55. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

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“Patience is not a virtue unless you take advantage of it by exercising it well,” Alderson said. “Patience is only part of a strategy.”


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 4:18 pm 
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I've done a variation of #5 many times.

I'll forget exactly where I parked my and head to the wrong part of the lot, only to realize I've gone to where I parked the day before.

I'll look around to see if anyone's noticed me standing there and I'll look at my cell phone as if I've gotten an important message and then I'll turn and head to where my car actually is.

Phones make a good prop for making it look as if you're actually doing something instead of standing and doing nothing.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 4:33 pm 
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There is no way to do the phone-check-turn-around thing without people knowing exactly what you're doing. Have you seen someone try to pull it off? We think we're being sneaky when we try it, but none of us are going to win an Oscar anytime soon.

Same holds true for the trip-on-feet-skip-dance-move thing.

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“Patience is not a virtue unless you take advantage of it by exercising it well,” Alderson said. “Patience is only part of a strategy.”


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 6:44 pm 
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It's so true! (the whole thing!)

As for the turn around thing... If I'm walking down a street, I would actually cross the street before going the opposite direction.

As I was leaving work on Wednesday, I walked ALL the way down the street only to remember I didn't park there. Instead of turning around and walking past the front of the building, where I was bound to see someone I just left, I walked around the entire building. Yes... I'm that weird.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 6:51 pm 
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This really goes for people our age so do not be confused by the domain name:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

I especially agree with #124.

I own #46 especially when I am in a city.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 6:54 pm 
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chinabox wrote:
There is no way to do the phone-check-turn-around thing without people knowing exactly what you're doing. Have you seen someone try to pull it off? We think we're being sneaky when we try it, but none of us are going to win an Oscar anytime soon.

Same holds true for the trip-on-feet-skip-dance-move thing.


BAH! YES! And yet I still try to be smooth about it. :lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 12:08 am 
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I do #5 all the time when I'm in any part of Manhattan that doesn't have numbered streets, especially Greenwich Village which confuses the hell out of me. It's probably really obvious to anyone who's watching since I don't bother pretending my phone or anything. I usually just move off to the side, look really confused for a few seconds, swear under my breath, and turn around reluctantly.

Other things I totally agree with:
-#11: I don't try to laugh before the other person, but I do spend a lot of time watching their reaction to every little thing and getting anxious if they don't seem to be enjoying it as much as I think it should.
-#18: I can't count how many times someone has texted me something I don't know how to respond to or don't care about, and I responded with LOL because I felt like I had to say something.
-#20: I've been taking tons of practice LSATs lately, and every time I get a 3 or more letters in a row, I immediately go back over the answers and force myself to justify each one.
#22: I have horrible hearing and seem to know way too many soft-spoken people. I would love to how many times I've inappropriately smiled or nodded at something someone said because I felt like an idiot asking them to repeat themselves yet again.
#35: This brings me back to freshman orientation. I really hate the version where you're supposed to give your name an adjective that begins with the first letter of your name. My thought process would go something like: "Punctual? No, I'll sound like a loser. Pretty? No, only a conceited jerk would say that. Um, perky? God, I'm not perky at all. What else begins with a p, dagnabbit?"
#41: This drives me crazy, and it inexplicably seems to happen all the time. I know WAY too many people who refuse to answer their phones. They'll respond to a text within a minute, but God forbid you call them because the conversation is one that's better conducted over the phone.
#46: Seriously, bikers terrify me. Been oh so close to getting run over at least twice.
#52: HATE! I just want to skim an article, not watch some stupid video. At the very least, tell me you're sending me to a video so I don't click on the link in the first place.

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 Post subject: Re: Random Thoughts of People Our Age
PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:12 am 
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LOL lots of good stuff in this list. Love the Ninendo and the chair comment. Lots of stuff I've thought about. The following are all things I definitely do

Quote:
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (Do this all the time and similarly decide not to get a grocery cart or to leave the cart in the store so I don't have to bring it back, and then end up trying to carry way too much stuff and often trapped behind people who walk way too slow)
17. Was learning cursive really necessary?
20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies" (I also hate when people do that for the whole word, I understand it when some letters sound alike, but when people overdue the word thing it completely throws me off)
35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclist.
52. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

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MarkJohnson>You wrote:
"Wright is greedy" is easily the worst take in the recent history of Mets fandom, and there have been some bad takes in Mets fandom.

Rich Coutinho wrote:
When I hear Yankee fans whine I always laugh. It is like the people who invented the color blue complaining about life


RIP uapeople


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:17 am 
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yogalates wrote:
#35: This brings me back to freshman orientation. I really hate the version where you're supposed to give your name an adjective that begins with the first letter of your name. My thought process would go something like: "Punctual? No, I'll sound like a loser. Pretty? No, only a conceited jerk would say that. Um, perky? God, I'm not perky at all. What else begins with a p, dagnabbit?"



Haha... I had a similar experience. I don't remember if it was for orientation or what, but I remember one of those times I completely drew a blank and I ended up coming up with "totally". Which isn't even an adjective or any kind of descriptor and is so-valley girl-ish which I am definitely not.

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MarkJohnson>You wrote:
"Wright is greedy" is easily the worst take in the recent history of Mets fandom, and there have been some bad takes in Mets fandom.

Rich Coutinho wrote:
When I hear Yankee fans whine I always laugh. It is like the people who invented the color blue complaining about life


RIP uapeople


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 7:53 am 
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when ever i walk the wrong way towards my destination, I just cross the street and walk the other way. No one will notice a thing because im now walking past a new set of people.

Unless of course every body else is doing the same thing. :shock:


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 Post subject: Re: Random Thoughts of People Our Age
PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:01 pm 
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Quote:
5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.


I keep walking turn the corner check out a store and then go back...

Quote:
6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Very true.
Quote:
7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
Funny.

Quote:
8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

You learned from the people that played Atari 2600... Nintendo kids are soft.

Quote:
15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
True but not funny... Most unfortunately do not wait.


Quote:
23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"
Never had this problem but it got a laugh from me.

Quote:
28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
My wife (then gf) and I once babysat for a couple for a 3 day weekend and their strange friend came over for a day ( a real strange guy maybe checking up on us? IDK) but he got in the shower after me and I didn't make sure the little faucet/shower valve was down and he started up the shower and it sprayed him with ice cold water... He got what he deserved.

Quote:
29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
Ick. That is not true at all.

Quote:
35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
Very true for me especially when you also have to tell everyone something interesting about you. My standby here in AZ is that I was born and raised in NY... Not really interesting but it is something!

Quote:
41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? dagnabbit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
Probably leaving you a message.

Quote:
44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Both very true.

Quote:
53. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

Many do.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 9:07 pm 
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I think the jeans theory only works when a.) Mom's out of town or B.) you are going through your teenage period that is either grunge/goth/punk/other where you actually think that is pretty cool and dangerous or C.) you are just lazy at college and instead of washing your pile of dirty clothes you ration.


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